Who Cares for the Person Who Lives Alone?
An article by Sheila Warnock in this month’s AWIS Magazine
If you live alone, you have probably had thoughts flash through your mind like “If I fell in the shower and hit my head, how long would it take for someone to miss me?” or “What if I were seriously injured or ill… who would take care of me?”
Click to read or download Sheila’s article.
“My Mother Has 4 Noses”
“My Mother Has 4 Noses” is a one-woman musical play depicting the real-life story of a woman caring for her mother who has Alzheimer’s disease, during the final years of her life.
Written and performed by Jonatha Brooke, an award-winning singer and songwriter, the play was created at the suggestion of her mother.
Both mother and daughter were able to find humor through the challenges they faced together.
Search for Documentary Participants:
A search is underway for people to participate in a major documentary film from the award-winning producer of “The Crash Reel” and a healthcare company.
We are seeking people with a brain injury or certain neurologic conditions such as stroke or Alzheimer’s who also suffer from uncontrollable, sudden outbursts of crying and/or laughing that don’t match what they are feeling on the inside.
If you or someone you know is dealing with this condition, we would love to hear from you.
Please email us today: email@example.com or call 818-934-4312.
Attention NYC Caregivers:
Guillermina Altomonte, a graduate student in Sociology at New School University is doing qualitative research on caregiving, and would like to interview men and women in New York City who are currently taking care of an elderly family member.
The interviews are confidential and they are aimed at exploring time, boundaries and identities that persons experience while being caregivers.
If you would like to share your thoughts and experiences, or you know someone who would, please contact her directly at Altog301@newschool.edu or 540-760-7673.
Save the Date – Family Caregivers Summit: “Name it; Know its Many Faces”
EmblemHealth’s NYC Partnership for Family Caregiving Corps
in partnership with:Fordham University Graduate School of Social Service:
Be the Evidence Project
Date: Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Location: New York Academy of Medicine
1216 Fifth Avenue (use the 103rd Street entrance)
New York, NY 10029
Time: Registration is 8:30 am
Program is 9 am – 5 pm
10:00 – 10:45 Maintaining the Body: Beyond Diet and Exercise
Dr. Robin Fenley, DFTA
Sheila Warnock, Share the Care
ALL ARE WELCOME! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
To view or download the Flyer as a PDF click here
Join us at the Name It; Know Its Many Faces 2014 Summit, where experts from the many facets of FAMILY CAREGIVING will unite for this dynamic all-day event. All clergy, health care ministries, family caregivers, medical professionals, social workers, students, government leaders and the general public are most welcome to attend. Through talks, discussions and videos, the summit will look at the many roles of family caregiving and explore solutions to common obstacles faced by family caregivers. So don’t miss this great opportunity to learn about resources and tools available to you.
Lunch will be served, and a wine and cheese reception will be provided at 5 pm.
“There are only four kinds of people in the world: Those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers.”
— Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter
To learn more about EmblemHealth’s Care for the Family Caregiver initiative, please visit www.emblemhealth.com/careforthefamilycaregiver
Caregiving — You cannot pay it away, pray it away or prescribe it away. While all three are necessary, ultimately you have to go through it, and it is our hope that you will grow through it.
C.O.M.E.: Caregiver Information Fair
Do Not Wait for A Crisis To Make Major Decisions!
This is the Time and the Season to Prepare for Tomorrow
Alzheimer’s Disease, Elder Law, Caregivers Resources, MD House Calls, VA Caregivers Program, Independent Living, Assisted Living, Adult Day/Night Program, Nursing Home placement, Home Sharing, Medicare, Medicare, Managed Long Term Care, Alternative Housing, AARP, Hospice, Respite, Mental Health and much more.
All are Welcomed to Attend
Wednesday April 30, 2014 at 11am to 4pm
177 Dreiser Loop Co-op City
Download the full Family Caregivers Fair information sheet as a PDF
Once again, Caregivers Outreach Ministry Empowerment Inc. (C.O.M.E.) will present a Caregivers Informational Fair. Riverbay Corporation will host it Wednesday April 30, 2014 from 11 am to 4 PM at 177 Dreiser Loop Auditorium A, in Co-Op City. Set up time will begin at 10AM. Free parking available in the nearby garage. (Garage ticket will be validated) Our mission is to provide, R & R (Resource & Respite), information and resources to family caregivers caring for the elderly with chronic illness, Alzheimer’s disease and other health issues, housing, nursing home, Adult Day Program, Assisted Living, and hospice. In addition, provide resources information to for grandparents.. We are inviting you to take part in this event in support of family caregivers. We are asking for a donation of $50 or more if you wish. Your donation will go towards the refreshments, entertainment, massage, exercise session, door prizes and give-a-ways. Tables will be provided and each organization will be asked to speak about their organization. Please invite caregivers from your program, employees, and other contacts.
Family caregivers sacrifice their needs for the needs of others. Caregivers Outreach Ministry Empowerment wants to continue to increase the awareness about the needs and challenges of family caregivers. We want to take this opportunity to recognize and show appreciation for the extraordinary job that family caregivers are performing. This is an opportunity to say, “Thank you. You are doing a great job. We are here for you. We believe that “Caregivers Need Caring Too!
Diane Cooper RN, GNP, M.Ed.
Download the Caregivers Fair Confirmation Signup and Confirmation form
C.O.M.E. Awards images
- Sheila had been nominated by Greg Johnson at EmblemHealth to receive an award from the Caregivers Outreach Ministry Empowerment, Inc.
In honor of National Family Caregiver Month, Caregivers Outreach Ministry Empowerment (C.O.M.E.) hosted its 7th Family Caregiver Recognition Award Luncheon on Saturday, November 9, 2013.
Images of Sheila recieving the C.O.M.E. award from Diane Cooper RN, GNP, M.Ed. (head of C.O.M.E.)
15 Caregiver Honorees and two Community Service Awards given:
Sheila and Dr. Sumir Sahgal, Medical Director of EssenMED House Calls.
A Tribute to Sukie Miller
March 15, 1988 will forever be etched into my memory. It was that cold, windy night when the seed, later to bloom into a comprehensive caregiving model, was planted at an emergency meeting for a friend in the office of Dr. Sukie Miller.
Dr. Miller had strongly urged her patient, Susan Farrow, to reach out past her emotional comfort zone and ask her friends for help. Susan was a divorced, working mom with two teens and a painful bone cancer. To make matters worse she had no family nearby. However, by bringing what was a diverse bunch of friends together for some honest dialogue, we were able to plunge into action the very next morning.
We owe a huge debt to the insight, wisdom, and brilliance of Dr. Miller who truly understood the power of “group.” The 12 of us who attended that meeting went on to prove her right by supporting our friend in every way imaginable until she died nearly four years later. And we managed it without any one getting stuck doing too much. And best of all, we were bonded forever by this challenging yet significant life experience that resulted in us becoming widely known as “Susan’s Funny Family.”
Later, Dr. Miller was the chief cheerleader when Cappy Capossela and I decided to document our systems into a handbook that others could follow to create a “caregiving family” of their own. Dr. Miller offered her guidance and gifted us with the eloquent FORWARD to Share The Care, first published in 1995.
Then, out of the blue, in early 2002 Cappy was stricken with a brain tumor and needed her own Share The Care group. Following Cappy’s death later that year, Dr. Miller again provided her enormous enthusiasm and encouragement for my decision to make Share The Care more widely known by founding our organization. And, as a member of our Board of Advisors for the last 10 years, she was always generous with her suggestions.
Dr. Sukie Miller was a profound influence in my life. I think it was her fearless and optimistic outlook that will be most treasured by me and surely by so many others in different parts of the world whose lives she touched. We will all miss this vivacious, and extraordinary woman with so many far-reaching legacies.
SUKIE MILLER, Ph.D. was an early director of Esalen Institute, was a member of the Board of the Jung Institute of San Francisco and the Board of Medical Quality Assurance, the licensing board for the State of California. She had been a frequent consultant to Cancer and Social Action programs in Brazil.
In 1972 she founded and directed the pioneering Institute for the Study of Humanistic Medicine. One of the first researchers to study the cross cultural dimensions and implications of beliefs of the Afterdeath, her books Finding Hope When a Child Dies and After Death; How People Around the World Map the Journey After Life are published by Simon and Schuster.
Dr. Miller lived for years in Sao Paulo, Brazil where she continued to see clients with chronic and terminal diseases and worked extensively with groups.
CancerCare’s Sixth Annual Healing Hearts Family Bereavement Camp
Thursday January 16th 2014, 3:34 pm
Filed under: News
CancerCare’s Sixth Annual Healing Hearts Family Bereavement Camp
Is scheduled for June 13-15, 2014.
Healing Hearts Family Bereavement Camp:
- This free event is open to all families with children/teens who have lost a loved one to cancer in the last two years.
- Friday June 13 – Sunday June 15, 2014
- The camp is held at a working dude ranch in the beautiful Poconos in Milford, Pennsylvania.
- Families can register for this event by contacting Claire Grainger, LCSW at 201-301-6811 (firstname.lastname@example.org) or Kathy Nugent, LCSW at 201-3.1-6809 or (email@example.com).
- Limited space is available, and on a first-come first-serve basis. Registration is required by 5/1/14.
For seventy years, CancerCare has offered free support services to people with cancer, their loved ones, and the bereaved. Our Healing Hearts Camp has grown each year and offers families a chance to remember their loved one as they heal from their loss with others who truly understand.
It is a wonderful healing experience for the whole family. Space is limited
Click the link below to download/view the flyer as a PDF.
The U.S. Economy Does Not Value Caregivers
This article is from The Atlantic and can be viewed here with images and intended formatting: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/01/the-us-economy-does-not-value-caregivers/282887/
Providers of physical and spiritual care are just as indispensable to our society as providers of income. So why don’t we treat them that way?
Anne-Marie Slaughter Jan 9 2014, 9:59 AM ET
Single mother Dee St. Franc works two jobs and raises her 5-year old daughter. (Barbara Ries)
Throughout its history, America has continued to reinvent itself, each time producing a better society for more of us than the one that preceded it. Reconstruction improved on the pre-Civil War republic. The New Deal created a “new America” that was a great improvement on the Gilded Age. The civil rights movement generated legislation guaranteeing the equality promised in the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.
This constant reinvention is fueled by what I call “the idea that is America”—the principles of liberty, democracy, equality, justice, tolerance, humility, and faith on which our country was founded. As I’ve written, our history is a continual “process of trying to live up to our ideals, falling short, succeeding in some places, and trying again in others.”
The United States has among the highest child poverty rates of any developed economy.
The next period of American renewal cannot come fast enough. The gap between the richest and poorest Americans is growing wider. In fact, the top 10 percent took in more than half of all income in 2012, the highest share since the data series started.
Yet the United States has among the highest child poverty rates of any developed economy. We spend more but get less for our healthcare and education dollars than Canada, the United Kingdom, South Korea, and other nations. We are falling behind on these important measures of human progress in the world—but even more importantly, we are falling behind in terms of our ability to live up to our own values.
My personal vision is of a renewed America that cares—both about and for its people. This will require a shift. Right now, we are a nation that embraces and thrives on competition, from sports teams to small businesses to Silicon Valley. But in the competition paradigm, success is defined in terms of who wins, typically through a combination of talent, luck, and working harder and longer than anyone else. In this paradigm, if everyone is pursuing self-interest and striving to beat out competitors to get to the top, society as a whole will benefit.
I’m all for competition—in its place. But we have lost sight of the care paradigm, which is the necessary complement to competition. As Bill Gates put it, “the two great forces of human nature are self-interest and caring for others.”
The care paradigm starts from the premise that human beings cannot survive alone. Our progress as a species flows from our identity as social animals, connected to one another through ties of love, kinship, and clanship. Success is defined not as individual victory but as group progress, whether the group is family, clan, community, company, or any particular subdivision of society. In the care paradigm, the individual does not disappear; the progress of the group advances the individual as well. All members of the group also have the security of knowing that whether they are young or old, ill or weak, they will be cared for in their turn. Caring is part and parcel of building community.
An America that puts an equal emphasis on care and competition would be a very different place. We would invest in a national infrastructure of care in the same way that we invest in the infrastructure of capitalism. We would institute:
High-quality and affordable child care and elder care facilities
Higher wages and training for paid caregivers
Support structures to allow elders to live at home longer
Paid family and medical leave for women and men
Flexible work arrangements and career life cycles to give breadwinners who are also caregivers equal opportunity to advance over the course of their careers:
Financial and social support for single parents
Far greater social esteem for the “caring” professions
Not being cared for is just as much a marker of inequality as being discriminated against.
In short, we would build a social infrastructure that allows people to care for one another, in the same way we provide the basic physical infrastructure that allows them to compete.
All this talk of an America that cares is not pining for Neverland, but rather a call to recommit to a communal strand that runs through our history and our civic mythology. Frontier stories of barn-raisings and quilting bees are just as celebrated as Wild West shootouts between the sheriff and the outlaw. Nineteenth-century French historian Alexis de Tocqueville focused less on America’s rugged individualism than on our remarkable social capital—the civic associations we created for every purpose imaginable, or what he called our “habits of the heart.”
Coming together to advance a common purpose creates the bonds of trust and empathy that make us not just statistics and stereotypes, but visible to each other as individual human beings. It is then far harder not to care. This is the same social capital and cohesion that is the foundation of successful democracy and the indispensable precondition for achieving America’s founding credo of equality. We are wired for it. Thirty years ago, psychologist Carol Gilligan studied adolescent girls and identified in them an “ethic of care”—a dimension of human nature every bit as elemental as an “ethic of justice.” It turns out that “You don’t care!” is just as much a part of who we are as “That’s not fair!” Gilligan says that “given that children are less powerful than adults and rely on [adult] care for survival, concerns about justice and care are built into the human life cycle. The potential for oppression (using power unfairly) and for abandonment (acting carelessly) inheres in relationships.”
This means that not being cared for is just as much a marker of inequality as being discriminated against.
Both conditions are ways that those with power can enforce inequality against those without power—the young, the old, the sick, the disabled, the different, the structurally disadvantaged. “You don’t care” can mean “You don’t see me or hear me; you don’t give me equal regard.” But it can also mean “You don’t give me what I need to survive and thrive on an equal basis with my fellow citizens.”
Happiness is reached through a web of strong and fulfilling relationships—the warp and woof of connectedness and care.
I imagine a new America in which citizens recognize that providers of physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual care are as indispensable to our society and our economy as providers of income. If we truly valued breadwinning and caregiving equally—as equal components of the American promise of equal opportunity—then we would value male caregivers as much as we value female breadwinners and every permutation and combination in between. But we would also recognize that single parents—who must be sole breadwinners and caregivers in families that often include elder relatives, as well as children—need special help and support. We would embrace marriage for everyone and support policies that would strengthen long-term commitments among family members, however these families might be constructed.
As we strive for equality, we must also redefine and reprioritize the pursuit of happiness, the most personal of America’s founding values. Happiness can certainly be achieved through individual achievement, through winning the competition. But it is equally reached through a web of strong and fulfilling relationships—the warp and woof of connectedness and care. When we use solitary confinement as one of our most severe forms of punishment, we recognize the equation between isolation and unhappiness.
The biggest questions in 21st century America will be: “Who cares?” and then, “If we do not care for others, who will care for us?” We should answer those questions by reinventing ourselves yet again—competing fiercely, but caring deeply, too.